David Caulfield

Slowness is a virtue

Slowness is a virtue

Speed is important. Life passes quickly, so we need get things done. We need to build things. We need to meet deadlines. We need to uphold our responsibilities.

The kids need to be dropped to school before school starts. The assignment needs to be submitted on a Friday. The work needs to be completed by end of Q2. Time is of the essence for many things.

But not for everything.

We've forgotten how wonderful being slow feels

Yes, many things need to be done quickly. But we can fall into the trap of believing that good work always requires speed. We think "If I'm not finished task X by date Y, then I'm not being as productive as I could be." Then I feel guilty and demotivated.

There are many things in our lives, often the most important things, that requires slowness. And if we are in the habit of getting everything done as fast as possible, it is difficult to switch to something slow.

Remember what is what like as a child to do something without thinking about when it would be done? Building the lego set didn't have a deadline. There was no pressure to level up in Call of Duty (good thing too because I was slooow). We didn't care how long it took to explore the fields.

Slowness is a virtue we have forgotten.

Big, deep ideas are better without deadlines

If you are lucky, you remember a time when something gripped you. Something you couldn't escape - you thought about it every day and maybe still do. You might not even know what to do with this gripping thing. But you think about it all the time.

When you were a child, that gripping idea might have been a new hobby. Or maybe it was a scene you wanted to paint.

Don't forget about your idea because it feels slow

As we get older, these gripping things become more important. But if we're not careful, they also become more fleeting. We find excuses to discount great ideas because they won't be done by a certain time.

  • The idea is too big.
  • I don't have time for it.
  • Nothing will come of it anyway.

These may all be true, but it doesn't mean the big, deep idea doesn't have immense value in and of itself. These gripping ideas deserve time. In fact, they shouldn't be explored as fast as possible. If left alone, time can make them deeper and more gripping, allowing you to commit to them with greater zest when the time is right.

Time will build your hunger for your great idea

If something grips you today but you can't work on it, that makes you hungry to work on it tomorrow. Over months, or even years, that hunger grows and grows. Later, you might find yourself in a unique position that allows you to finally work on your idea. You've spent so long waiting and thinking about it that you have a fierce hunger. You don't care about any excuses now - you're just going to work until your hunger is satisfied.

Think about it - speed makes it seem like you have less time

Don't worry about any deadlines. Agree with yourself to work and think slowly. Great! Now you have infinitely more time than if you worked quickly.

With more time, you can think about things more.

  • You can plan them better.
  • You can engage with them deeply.
  • You can talk to more people about them.

You can build the wisdom for your idea, hammering out something that is potentially great.

We build patience when we practice slowing down

A knock-on effect of our fast-paced lives is that we are extremely impatient. Things we used to do aren't required anymore.

  • We don't need to queue at the bank - it's all online.
  • We don't need to read books or learn deeply - we can just google (or now chatGPT) the answer.
  • We don't need to talk to people - social media and Netflix took care of that.

Everything that once required us to wait is now gone. As a result, we have lost the virtue of patience. We expect things to be answered in the moment - including our own deep thoughts, complex problems and confusing ideas.

  • A relationship isn't immediately gratifying so we opt for one-night stands.
  • A book takes months to read so we go on Instagram instead.
  • A fight with a friend or spouse isn't resolved immediately so we cut them off.

And our big, deep, gripping idea is so big, deep and gripping that we simply cannot comprehend it and choose to forget about it.

Anyone who has lots of patience started small

Is it any wonder we can't hold onto our big, gripping ideas? We wouldn't expect ourselves to squat heavy weights the first day in the gym. Our big, deep idea is perhaps one of the heaviest weights we could ever lift. And it requires the strong muscles of patience. If we haven't built up those muscles before with other, more manageable things that require patience, it won't be possible to lift the heavy burden of our big, deep idea.

Slowing down a big, deep idea allows us to build the virtue of patience. We can take one bite at a time instead of rushing the whole lot.

Things that are better slow

  • Dating + relationships: "Taking it slow" helps to build a solid foundation of values and agreements for the relationship.
  • Careers: Young people can fail to develop good skillsets by changing direction or job hopping too often.
  • Business idea: Many businesses fail because they flip-flop between ideas and don't slow down to choose a direction to focus on.

0 kudos